She walks tall, sporting a saree, with her head held high and a smile on her face. Meet 35-year-old sexual educator Pallavi Barnwal. She teaches people how to identify, accept and talk about their carnal desires. And most people do a double take when she introduces herself. “I don’t make heads turn; I make jaws drop as I introduce myself. The thing about this profession is that people take two steps back before taking that one step forward.”
Pallavi believes that in order to have an evolved society its inhabitants must embrace their desires and be open to talk about them. She finds that most relationships crumble and die out as couples do not share their intimate needs with each other.
She says that our education system lacks the level of sex education that is required to address complex issues at an early stage. She believes that sexual education must be made a subject in schools, colleges and even for adolescents who have nowhere to turn to when they need advice.“When one joins a new company there is an initiation process to welcome the worker into the company. There is a buddy system and a manual to help orient the person with the ways of the company, the protocol, and his/her role. It’s a smooth process that leaves no room for misinterpretation or confusion, and should the person still be disoriented he/she can refer to the manual for guidance. While this system exists for a company, there is no such manual or instruction guide for a relationship,” she says.
According to Pallavi, a relationship also needs a sort of working manual where both parties can refer to their doubts or inhibitions. And that, she say, can be achieved by communicating with each other and being honest and upfront about everything.
She quotes Osho liberally when she makes a point about people hiding or suppressing their sexual needs. “Couples do not communicate with each other about their individual sexual needs. They are conditioned to believe that there is something dirty/wrong or even sinister about their carnal desires.”
It is this aspect of society that Pallavi is trying to change. Through her endeavour redwomb.com, Pallavi invites people to share their ideas and also helps them understand their own desires. She conducts workshops where she follows a process to let people overcome their inhibitions. Her next workshop, Tongue Tied, is being hosted at People Places Arts Studio, Nehru Enclave on March 31.
Be open with each other
A relationship also needs a sort of working manual where both the parties can refer to their doubts or inhibitions.